Dreaming of Plastic Joy and Disappointment
I was taking a nap around noon because I was feeling super tired. In my dream, I found myself in a shop, standing in an aisle. On my right side was a section with meat, and on my left were other types of food. There was a man there who was extremely enthusiastic about Mattel, the doll-making company. He was talking about it with so much excitement. My mom pointed out a strange machine and encouraged me to try it. The man got even more excited and rushed me over to it.
I had to put my hair into a small hole in the machine, which was also made by Mattel. It sucked in a chunk of my hair and when it came back out, there was fake light pink hair attached to it. It looked awful. The fake hair didn’t reach anywhere near the roots and just sat on top of my real hair in a really unnatural way. But the man was so thrilled with it that I pretended to like it, just to protect his excitement.
After that, he led me into the aisle next to where I had been standing. He was still rambling excitedly about the newest dolls. I glanced over and saw a bundle of dolls in packaging. It looked like a wedding set, but they were oddly positioned—lying on their sides with the groom tucked behind the bride. None of them were wearing wedding clothes; instead, they were dressed like they were on vacation in a tropical place.
One set really caught my eye. I thought it was a lesbian couple. One of the dolls had features I mistook as masculine-presenting, and I was so excited. I picked it up and said something like, “Who’s the handsome lady?” because I truly believed I was finally seeing the kind of representation I always wanted as a lesbian who grew up with Barbie dolls and movies. But then I realized it wasn’t a lesbian couple at all—it was just another Ken doll.
That realization made me feel so annoyed and disappointed. I turned to the man and asked why Mattel was still so bad at making male dolls. But even then, I didn’t want to take away from his joy. He was so passionate about it all, and I felt like I had to protect that.
This dream presents a rich tapestry of emotions and symbols that reflect your current life experiences and inner thoughts. Let's break it down into its key components:
Setting and Characters:
- Shop and Aisle: The shop represents your search for nourishment, both physical and emotional. The aisles can symbolize choices in your life regarding identity, desires, and experiences.
- The Enthusiastic Man: He embodies an aspect of your own personality that is enthusiastic and passionate. This may reflect a part of you that feels strongly about creativity and playfulness, possibly in a manner reminiscent of childhood innocence, as represented by the excitement over Mattel.
Symbolism of Food:
- Meat on Right & Other Foods on Left: This division signifies the choices you face in personal growth. The meat might represent basic survival instincts or desires, while the other types of food could denote a broader spectrum of emotional or relational fulfillment. The right side symbolically might be associated with more traditional or conventional paths you might feel pressured to follow, while the left indicates exploration of your diverse interests.
The Strange Machine:
- Machine and Hair: The machine may symbolize external pressure to conform or to change your appearance or identity in some way. Hair in dreams often signifies self-image and personal expression. The transformation of your hair into something artificial (light pink fake hair) could suggest feelings of being put into a role or a façade that doesn’t align with your true self. Your decision to protect the man's excitement by pretending to like the result might point to a broader theme in your life where you may suppress your own feelings to maintain harmony in social relationships.
Dolls and Representation:
- Wedding Set and Dolls: Dolls here symbolize societal expectations of relationships and identity. The distorted representation of the dolls you come across—especially the wedding set with unconventional positioning—could mirror your frustration with mainstream portrayals of love and relationships in society, particularly how your own identity as a lesbian is regarded or misrepresented.
- Discovering the Ken Doll: Your moment of excitement upon discovering what you believed was a masculine-presenting doll, followed by disappointment upon realizing it was just another Ken, signifies a longing for true representation of non-binary or LGBTQ+ identities in the media. This reveals internal conflict between hope and the reality of limited representation, mirroring your desire for authentic acknowledgment in a world often dominated by traditional norms.
Emotions and Themes:
- Protecting Joy vs. Personal Truth: A significant theme throughout your dream is the tension between wanting to be honest about your feelings and the desire to not dampen someone else's excitement. This duality reflects ongoing internal struggles—balancing authenticity with empathy and the need for acceptance from others.
- Frustration with Commercialism and Representation: Your annoyance at Mattel's portrayal of male dolls from a broader societal lens may illustrate feelings of frustration toward the commodification of identity and how it often fails to represent the depth and diversity of real-life experiences.
Conclusion:
Overall, this dream emphasizes a journey towards self-discovery and the pursuit of genuine representation in both personal and societal contexts. It encourages you to reflect on your desires for authentic expression, while also addressing how external influences can impact your self-perception. Engaging with these emotions constructively can be a pathway to fostering both individuality and acceptance in various spheres of your life.
